Disney Haiku Challenge

I’m not sure why exactly, but I’ve always found haiku to be a fun little creative outlet. My law school roommate and I would often sit in the back of our Estates & Trusts lectures and compose absurd haiku as a way to pass the time. This might explain why neither of us do estates and trusts as a part of our practice, by the way, but that’s a discussion for another day.  

Anyway, as a reminder for those of you that have not encountered it since elementary school, haiku is a form of short Japanese poetry that follows a particular format: a traditional haiku is 17 syllables in three phrases that follow a 5-7-5 pattern.*  In other words, the first phrase is 5 syllables, the second is 7, and the final phrase is 5 syllables.  To the extent that it requires you to wedge your thoughts into a small number of words and still convey something worth reading, you can almost think of it as an ancient version of Twitter (minus the abbreviations, emoticons and vitriol).  Alas, I digress.

Haiku have traditionally been used to convey very Zen-like observations regarding the serenity of the natural world.  Accordingly, the juxtaposition of this simple, beautiful form of poetry and its traditional use, and different subject matter — like the decidedly un-serene and not-particularly-natural Disney Parks — can lead to some wonderfully absurd results.  Soooo, here’s a challenge for all of you — come up with some Disney park haiku and share them in the comments below.

Your haiku can be about anything in the Disney universe you like. For example, you could use it as a way to compose very succinct reviews or summaries of Disney attractions:

Kali River Ride.

Why didn’t I just jump in?

Squish squish squish squish squish.

or

Strapped down in the dark,

Alien burps in your face.

Stitch’s Great Escape.

It could also be a way of offering some commentary:

Everest thrill ride,

Interrupted by disco.

Please fix the Yeti.

or

Shackle to my wrist

My wallet, call it a key.

Disney MagicBand.

It could even be a way of relaying some of your favorite park memories:

Damn thee, Mickey bar!

Tastes so good I don’t notice

Ice cream down my shirt.

Heck, you could even do Universal Studios if you’d rather:

Phone flew out of shorts!

Lockers there for a reason.

Forbidden Journey.

The point is, you’ve got a ton of freedom here, so let your imagination be your guide — I’m looking forward to seeing what haiku you all come up with!  Have fun!

*Yes, I am aware that there is plenty of haiku out there that doesn’t follow this 5-7-5 pattern.  This is, however, a Disney blog, not a poetry class, so work with me on this.  The constraints will make it more of a challenge anyway!