The Unofficial Guide’s Take On The Fantasyland Expansion
We’re working on a new WDW book and I got the task of updating our Fantasyland coverage to include the new expansion announced at D23. Maybe it’s the coffee I’m drinking, but rather than just recite from the press release, I re-imagined the story as a coup d’etat by the princesses against Mickey and Minnie. The text is below. Comments and suggestions welcome.
Vive La Revolution
Compared to Disneyland and Disneyland Paris, the Magic Kingdom’s version of Fantasyland was far smaller in both size and scope. We’ve not thought much of it, but apparently it had been a source of discontent for Disney World’s princess population for quite some time. In 2009, the princesses, led by Cinderella and Ariel, led a revolution against the established character aristocracy that resulted in the biggest land grab in Magic Kingdom history. With a small but fabulously-dressed army of princesses and fairies, Cinderella and Ariel claimed a huge chunk of undeveloped land outside of Fantasyland, while their forest-animal followers stormed Toontown. It was all over in a matter of hours, when Mickey and Minnie fled their country houses for exile on Main Street. If there is any doubt about who wields power in the Magic Kingdom, one only need look now at who’s got the castle and controls the most land.
Soon after claiming control, Cinderella began divvying up the spoils of war. Ariel, who served as Cindy’s consigliere during the coup, was rewarded with a new ride-through attraction using the story and characters from Disney’s The Little Mermaid film. Belle, who led the storming of France (not technically part of the Magic Kingdom, but still on any reasonably complete invasion checklist) got her own character greeting area. In addition, Belle’s old country pal Gaston muscled in on the restaurant business in Fantasyland. We hear he’s opening up a new place that’ll serve fast food to the masses at lunch and convert to pricey sit-down meals for dinner. It’s sure to be a hit – no one eats or drinks like Gaston.
Princess Aurora, who kept the trains running on schedule (and the rest of the characters at bay) during the revolution, gets a dedicated greeting area themed after her village home, and has announced plans to re-do the Toontown train station into Fantasyland decor. The Tinker Belle-led fighting fairies also get their own meet-and-greet location, dubbed “Pixie Hollow,” as well as a play area that will double as an obstacle course training ground for the new Cinderella Youth Brigade after the park closes.
Dumbo the Flying Elephant, once part of Mickey’s inner circle, proved to be an agent working for Cinderella. The reward for his treachery is a second Dumbo attraction – a clone of the first – in what was ironically Mickey’s old property. We hear Dumbo will also get a new interactive queue and waiting area.
Donald Duck, who used to store his boat in Toontown across from Mickey’s house, hasn’t been heard from since the revolt. We’re pretty sure his ship’s bell has rung for the last time, if you know what we mean. The only Toontown attraction that appears to have been spared is The Barnstormer at Goofy’s Wiseacres Farm. Said Goofy, “Hey, I’m just excited to be part of Cinderella’s plans. She’s a visionary, you know. That stuff with Mickey, it was just business.”
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This is very interesting, thanks
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Now I heard, but have not confirmed that Donald had actually contacted and teamed up with Capt Nemo in an attempt to bring back 20,000 Leagues under the Sea. He thought that he could preserve his ship’s Toon Town anchorage if he sailed with the Nautilus. Unfortunately for him, Ariel and her undersea friends proved to be too tough in the naval battle and he lost. Just a rumor, but it is what I’m seeing on the blogs.
In the words of Montgomery Burns….Excellent!
Absolutely Brilliant Len!!!
O.K. I know it’s nit-picky but…it’s not Mouse’s heads unless Mickey has two but rather Mouses’ heads. Now, I know someone might try to say its actually mice but since they are last names they are not pluralized.
I really love the write up, but whenever I run across the one or two slip-ups in the book it has always driven me nuts esp. since I do recognize how fab-o you are (and thus I have such higher standards for you)!
Fixed. Thanks Lori!
And what I wanna know is why was Snow totally dissed? Perhaps she sided with the Mice in this?
Any ideas?
Nah, Snow White used her existing attraction as a forward base, guiding the princesses past the Hundred-Acre Wood to the main gate of Toontown. Narrowly missed capturing Mickey and Minnie as they fled. Her reward was a cancellation of her lease with M&M on Scary Adventures – now she owns it outright.
Even worse – I had a page count to get in under. 🙂
I wonder what has happened to Pluto…he must be hiding out with Chip and Dale.
Hilarious! The reason why I buy the updated book every year is to read articles like this one. I also read that Goofy’s Barnstormer may be spared….
Nice work, Len! One thing–I read somewhere that rumor is Goofy’s will be rethemed to make it fit in with Fantasyland. If that’s indeed true, then poor Goofy has been duped.
Wow – this is sooo exciting and fabulous creativity in the writing to!! Only thing is I’m planning a massive trip to Disney in Oct 2010 with loads of pre-schoolers so am a little worried about how this might effect the rides…
I’m trying to figure out Gaston. As what’s obviously the last male standing in a sea of Fantasyland estrogen,is he doing this as he’s simply the last man and figures his odds just improved dramatically, or is there something else he’d like to tell us?
Hmm. He’s a big, bold, strapping man who works hard to impress the ladies. At the same time, he sings show tunes and is shockingly insecure regarding questions about his manliness. Sounds truly Fabulous, not that there’s anything wrong with that…
Absolute brilliance…
The princess may have successfully executed their Blitzkrieg of Fantasyland and Toontown but as we speak Mickey is held up on Tom Sawyer Island planning “T Day” (toon day). Buzz in his new role as air marshal is readying the defense against the Dumbo bombers (very very messy) while Mickey is talking with Captain Jack Sparrow who is readying the navel bombardment and landing craft.
The big question of course is can Minnie convince the Power Rangers and Wildcats to reverse their policy of Isolationism and ride the oceans of Crescent Lake and then the monorail and join the battle.
Love the Elba reference. I may work that in. Awesome!
Sounds like a plot for a re-envisioned Pirates and Princess fireworks show.
No doubt M&M will be planning a clever coup from their Elba. Perhaps they are plotting with Marvel as we speak. And you know Goofy is just a plant, his loyalties surely lie with the Rodentia. (I’m going to miss those popcorn stalks…)
I do hope there will be opportunities for defenestrating and expectorating with Gaston, doesn’t that sound delightful!?
Loved the whole thing! Shared it on FB, but warned my friends that it would only be funny to serious Disney nerds. We’ll see if they heed my warning. Guillotine joke worked for me!
Love it all, except for the bit about the guillotine. That might fit in a discussion about the Universal characters, but feels /wrong/ in this context.
“With a small but fabulously-dressed army of princesses and fairies”…
That description also fits the princes, you know. Their attire can be awfully fabulous, emphasis on the awful. You know I’m right!!!
Awesome summation of the WDWW1 (Walt Disney World War 1). I say it should be included in any history textbook, and the UG 2011.
This is lunatic genius, Len. A+!
You sure about including the guillotine mention, Len?
Mmmmmm….not sure about any of it. Whatdya think?
The guillotine thing will work well with people (like me) who think like you, but for a mass media publication, you might want to nix it. It won’t necessarily add to your book sales, but it sure could subtract from them.
– John
disagree. Those that get queezy over guillotine can read the unofficial guide for kids.
Bravo!
Just in case you wanna publish that, “Révolution” is spell with a “t” in french 😀
Merci, Isabelle.
I’m wondering, “What other tasks are included on a reasonably complete invasion checklist?” I’m not sure where crossing the Alps (or the Delaware, for that matter) fits, but the invasion of Poland has historically proven to lead to eventual downfall.
You know, things like “Arm peasants,” “Foment rebellion against the bourgeois,” and “Invade France.” The usual stuff of any good uprising.
Loved the article… especially the bit about Gaston!
wow, Len, that is BRILLIANT! Please tell me this will be published in the 2011 book!
According to my husband, no one can send someone to sleep with the fishes the way Ariel can….
Awesome bit of creative insanity. 🙂
I added “sleep with the fishes” to the text. Thanks Jul!