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SATURDAY SIX Investigative Report: The WORST Places to Propose at Walt Disney World

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We here at TouringPlans strive to constantly give our readers everything you need to know in order to save time and money on your Disney vacation. On the blog you will find pieces such as Steve Bloom’s fascinating look at Pandora’s Effect on Walt Disney World, James Romeregy showed the pros and cons of Renting a Car at WDW, and Brian McNichols helped guide people to the Least Crowded Mickey’s Very Merry Christmas Party Nights.  Not to be outdone, the think tank over at the SATURDAY SIX headquarters have decided to finally take on the conundrum that faces all vacation planners: how exactly does one achieve the very best Disney vacation?  Now, many inside-the-box thinkers go with the obvious answer, “Do The Things That Are Great.” Ride the best attractions, see the best shows, and eat at the most unique dining experiences. But to that we say Nay, Nay. Instead we are going to reverse engineer the problem by looking at all the truly awful ideas and explain to you Dear Reader, why you should not do them.

That, in a nutshell, is the raison d’être behind the Worst Theme Park Idea Ever series.

# 6 –  The All- Star Resorts

There are a lot of romantic spots at various Disney resorts to pop the question, including at the top of Bay Lake Tower while watching fireworks at the Magic Kingdom or Kidani Village with the beautiful savannah as a back drop. But moments like that can be fleeting, and why start off a marriage in the hole? Show your would be bride that you are fiscally responsible by proposing marriage at one of the All-Star Resorts. Conveniently located in the middle of nowhere, the All-Stars provide many wonderful options to profess your undying – yet thrifty – love, including in front of the Herbie the Love Bug photo op at All-Star Movies.

Carrie gets proposed to by Dan at All-Star Movies while fellow guests try to warn her. (photo by Brandon Glover)
They say “Every kiss begins with Kay…” but no one says marriage begins with the All-Star Resorts. (photo by Hunter Underwood)

# 5 – The McDonald’s BY the All-Star Resorts

Food and love go together like peas and carrots. However, do you know how long you have to plan out to make an ADR at one of those fancy schmancy places like Victoria & Alberts or Be Our Guest? Heck, you might not even want to be married by then! What place is always open and will surely have her “lovin’ it?” Why the McDonald’s by the All-Star Resorts of course! You may want to allow some extra wiggle room for prep time so that you can at least make sure all the trash is off the tables, because we’re here to create a once in a lifetime moment for her.

Mos Eisley has nothing on this wretched hive of scum and villainy. (photo by Brandon Glover)
Dan, opening up his heart to Caitlin like one would open up a Sweet & Sour sauce container for McNuggets. (photo by Brandon Glover)
To sweeten the pot, Dan offers french fries to Caitlin to help seal the deal.(photo by Brandon Glover)

# 4 – Innoventions West

Marriage is about the future that two people will spend with each other, and where better to celebrate “the future” than in Epcot’s Future World? You’re going to want to keep this classy because again – it’s all about her today – so you need to eschew places like The Seas with Nemo and Friends or Mission: SPACE. Innoventions West with its cavernous hallways provide the perfect intimate experience to pull that “Yes” out of her. As a bonus, Innoventions is always filled with planters so your “florist” expense is also taken care of!

Dan, promising Caitlin he will rock her world like the now closed Sum Of All Thrills.(photo by Brandon Glover)
Caitlin meanwhile is questioning all of her life decisions to this point. (photo by Brandon Glover)

# 3 – The Leave A Legacy Monoliths

Spaceship Earth is a beacon of hope standing majestic in front of Epcot. The attraction’s storyline of communication throughout the history of mankind is both educational and entertaining. That said, you can’t communicate a wedding proposal to your significant other there because there are too many people around! However, just a few steps in front of Spaceship Earth are the Leave a Legacy monoliths, and these concrete slabs will allow you all the personal space you need for this once in a lifetime moment.  If you really want to impress her, profess your love in front of the monolith which has the members of N*SYNC on it, or she may be telling you “Bye, bye, bye!

Dan pops the question to Linda by the Leave a Legacy monoliths. (photo by Brandon Glover)
Linda “tells” Dan exactly what she thinks of this particular spot. (photo by Brandon Glover)

# 2 – The Lost and Found outside the TTC

Traditionally, the purchaser of an engagement ring should be prepared to spend three months salary. Unfortunately, for many Millenials that money has already been spent on avocado toast and homemade Mickey ears off Etsy. PRO TIP: Outside of the Magic Kingdom, right next to the TTC, is the Lost & Found department. Here you can generally find exactly what you need for “the moment.”

One family losing a ring pop is another man’s chance of a lifetime. (photo by Brandon Glover)
Caitlin now realizes she should have listened to her mother. (photo by Brandon Glover)
Witnesses report that moments after this picture was taken, the true owner of the ring pop grabbed “her property” back. (photo by Brandon Glover)

# 1 – Disney Transport Center

In love with a true Disney hard core fan? Then its time to bring out the big guns. You want to make your significant other feel special. We’ve all seen a million pics of people proposing in front of Cinderella Castle. BEEN THERE. DONE THAT. Want to take the road less traveled? Then you need to head to the Speedway after the Magic Kingdom, and there – right next door – is the official Disney Transport station. You’ve seen the billboards about the “best kept secret at WDW” and we can assure you it’s not DVC, it’s this station. Here is where all the Disney Buses come to fill up. What a perfect place to fill up your special person’s heart.

Dan professes his love to Ellen. (photo by Brandon Glover
Ellen trying to fully comprehend this “magical moment.” (photo by Brandon Glover)

 

Honorable Mention – The Electric Umbrella

Sometimes you just can’t please people. Some people are “high maintenance” and don’t understand or appreciate the hard work you’ve done in finding a truly original place in the Vacation Kingdom of the World to propose. There’s only one thing to do at that point. MOVE ON. This WDW Twitter has been doing a great job on spotlighting the work of Cast Members through their Cast Compliment program. We can tell you one thing better than a Cast Compliment though, and that’s a ring professing your love for a job well done.

(photo by Brandon Glover)

So there you have it: The Worst Places to Propose at Walt Disney World! See you next weekend for the latest installment of the SATURDAY SIX, where we’ll look at something fun from the world of Disney and Universal. If you enjoyed yourself, be sure to check out The Magic, The Memories, and Merch! articles, or, for your listening pleasure, check out the E-Ticket Report podcast. You can also follow Your Humble Author on Twitter (@derekburgan).

Welcome to Bachelorville –
Population: YOU

If you enjoyed this article, you will surely like the following:

6 Disney References You May Have Missed in James Cameron’s AVATAR film

6 Pieces of Disney Merchandise That Don’t Exist (But Totally Should!)

The SATURDAY SIX Uses Disney Villains to Explain Theme Park Blogging

The Six Best SHOWS at Walt Disney World

Six Things We STILL Can’t Believe Actually Happened at WDW

Six Most Unique Dining Experiences at Walt Disney World

Special Thanks to crack staff photographer Brandon Glover, my personal protege Hunter “Elvey” Underwood, “Professor” Daniel Miller of Drunk@Disney fame, the long suffering CarrieOrlando Everyday‘s Caitlin Dineen, the intrepid 3 O’Clock Parade news team correspondent Ellen, and blogger to the stars Megan Stump for their invaluable assistance with this article. Be sure to also check out Brandon on The Park Blogger podcast with goofball co-host Aengus Mackenzie , while fellow Potterheads may enjoy Meg’s work on the Central Florida Slug Club.

FINAL PLUG! Did you know The 2017 Unofficial Guide to Universal Orlando has a special edition of the SATURDAY SIX in it? Finally, someone came up with an actual reason to read a book. ORDER this baby now!

“Sooooooo, is that a yes?” (photo by Hunter Underwood)

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35 thoughts on “SATURDAY SIX Investigative Report: The WORST Places to Propose at Walt Disney World

  • I’m surprised that no-one else has noticed that the CM in the ‘honorable mention’ is not looking overjoyed at the ring, but is screaming because she’s just been hit in the head by lightning!

    Reply
  • 1) Getting down on one knee on the moving walkway going up to the Tommorowland Transit Authority.

    2) Anywhere in Chester & Hesters.

    3) During Ellen’s Energy Adventure at any point.

    4) On the middle of a packed bus on a rainy night heading back to your resort from the most crowded theme park.

    5) Pick a Value Resort food court. Any of them. During the breakfast rush.

    6) In the Main Street shops, right after an evening parade or fireworks.

    Reply
  • That guy looks familiar. DOD on Twitter?

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  • I think the worst possible place to profess your undying love and eternal devotion on bended knee at Walt Disney World would be…
    …while she’s standing next to her husband.

    Not that I have any first-hand experiences to fall back on. I’m just sayin’. :-/

    Reply
  • My list of the worst I could think of:

    1) The queue for Kilimanjaro Safaris on a hot summer day. No air conditioning. Get down on one knee as the head ranger in the video gets the disappointed look in his eyes while talking about poachers.

    2) The trash can outside of Mission: Space next to the more intense version of the ride. If she tosses cookies over the thought of marrying you, she will have company!

    3) The bridge at the bottom of Splash Mountain. No matter the answer, regret for being there will come in about 30 seconds.

    Reply
  • Man, you guys spend a lot of time thinking and blogging about Millenials. One might almost say that you’re obsessed.

    Reply
  • Worst possible moments inside rides:

    Stitch. At any moment he decides to fart in your general direction.

    Rock-n-Roller Coaster, in the room where you’re forced to watch Aerosmith decide to invite you to the show. Just as their creepy dopplegangers turn and motion toward you.

    Carousel of Tomorrow. Because what says “we have a great future” than laser discs and two-decade-old animatronics?

    I’m sure there are others. Come on peeps — get creative!

    Reply
  • I’m trying to think of the worst location to propose possible, and I think I’d have to vote on dropping to one knee in the middle of a super crowded walkway where the hoards have to part around you like you’re a rock in a river.

    Although in front of a bathroom comes a close second. Cute article!

    Reply
  • I proposed to my partner at Club Villain dressed as Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee with the Queen of Hearts at her throne. #MostUniqueDisneyProposalEver

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  • How about in front of the clown pool at Board Walk Villas?

    Reply
  • This is hilarious! Thanks for putting this together. Worked in the parks for many years and worked weddings at home-many Do’s and Do not’s I learned over the years! The TTC kills me, I have not witnessed that one! I think the quiet areas are better personally-its meant to be a special private moment, but not bathrooms and changing rooms!

    I do think the castle is very cliche as well, but beautiful backdrop-I get it. I had told my husband during our years of dating that I would definitely not want a proposal there! I an an EPCOT girl at heart! He listened, he proposed in EPCOT, in the inner ring of the seal in Futureworld with the ball behind us :-D.

    Reply
  • Any of the bathroom areas, even Tangled seems pretty horrible to me. Even if the theming is excellent, it still is a rest room.

    Reply
  • For noise, you can’t do much better than to propose next to the kids who are randomly letting loose on the drums at the Output in Epcot or in Animal Kingdom.

    Reply
  • My sister always said that she wanted to be proposed to in front of the Castle DURING the fireworks. I said “How are you going to hear him? It will be dark. There’s going to be thousands of people!” Well, there we were standing on Main Street surrounded by the crowd in the dark and just as the first firework shot into the sky illuminating the crowd, he dropped to one knee in the brief moment of quiet and said “Will you be my Minnie?” Of course, she said yes and now she plays Wishes on repeat.

    Reply
  • Another place would not be romantic, Sticky Club Cool.

    Reply
  • I proposed in the Haunted Mansion during Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween Party! With the help of some awesome CMs, my now wife and I were the only ones in the elevator room and I dropped to my knee when the lights went out and while she was looking at the hanging body above. Good times!

    Reply
    • Oh Alex, that’s been done before.

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      • Sure but six years ago I had never proposed in the stretching room so it was new to me 🙂

  • Good work, Derek. If I had to do it all over again, I would propose to my Disney Bride in front of the “Tangled” bathrooms on the MK. Our “dream would begin” by the strollers, and then after we “let it go”following a visit to his and hers, (sorry, wrong movie) we could start our engaged life in the Haunted Mansion or, for real terror, “It’s A Small World.”

    Reply
  • Add the Castle to this. SO CLICHE!!! Really any spot at a theme park is the worst. Who wants to get engaged surrounded by 50k people and snot nosed kids. If you must do it at one of the fine dining locations or a more secluded location on property.

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  • This was so funny! Thanks for keeping it real for us.

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    • Part of the SATURDAY SIX Mission Statement is “to always keep it 100.” Another part involves eating extreme amounts of food during a food challenge, so we try to cover all bases.

      Reply
  • Club Cool. Sticky floors, awful sulfur smell, and packed with people.

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    • Wow. That might be the WORST possible place to do anything romantic on property!

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    • Over a cup of Beverly!

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  • The Lost and Found picture killed me. Perhaps the most unglamorous public building in all of Walt Disney World. Awesome job. Now the hunt is on to find even worse places to propose.

    Reply
      • Does that mean you’re already working on a Worst Places to Propose in Universal sequel?

      • I’ve wracked my brain but I can only come up with a 50 way tie for BEST place to propose at UOR.

  • Oh my goodness!!! That was so hilariously funny! So entertaining!!!

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  • Love this! True story: my brother-in-law planned to propose to my sister at Cinderella’s fountain, but the path was roped off during the parade. Because he was laden with flowers and trapped by people, he had to propose beside a trash can near the Merida meet and greet. Oh, and it starting raining.

    Reply

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