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*D23 Expo Presents: Be Careful What You Wish For…

Over the last couple years in this fine blog series we’ve covered what came out of the 2022 D23 Expo, which was mostly “vibes.” One thing teased was Disney going Beyond Big Thunder Mountain, and having the biggest park expansion in Magic Kingdom history.

Thanks to blogger-in-the-sky @bioreconstruct, we got views of the area around Big Thunder Mountain, and the sheer volume of available space around it.

However, while all of us theme park fans were talking about what may or may not go “beyond” Big Thunder, we never thought to consider what might go “before” Big Thunder…

WELCOME TO OUR NEW CARS OVERLORDS

That’s right, Disney announced a new area based around Pixar’s Cars will be located in a “reimagined” area of Frontierland.

Rumors and Innuendo suggested that this new area would replace the Rivers of America at Magic Kingdom, something confirmed by Disney after the D23 Expo.

If it seems impossible to wrap your head around a Cars based attraction where the Rivers of America sits today, well, Bio is there to help you out there too. Here’s a pic he took a couple years back when the water was drained for the area to get a refurbishment.

TPEI Score: – 20 I write this as a person who has Cars in their top 5 Pixar movies (along with The Incredibles, Ratatouille, Toy Story 2, and Finding Nemo/Monsters Inc.) I want more representation of Cars in WDW as much as anyone…but not like this. I’ve mentioned many times over the years that there are several things Disney does that their competitors can’t touch. They have hotels like Animal Kingdom Lodge. They have attractions like Kilimanjaro Safaris. AND they have areas in their theme parks like the Rivers of America.

Back in 2018, when Disney announced that their “Parks and Resorts” segment of the company was going to be merged with Consumer Products and Digital Media to become “Parks, Experiences, and Products” I was a co-host of a podcast called The E-Ticket Report. We predicted at the time that this was going to be a disaster for the company because it was going to force every area of the parks to justify their existence via Return On Investment (ROI.) That’s perfectly fine for your local amusement parks, but things you can’t put a price tag on, such as original background music, streetmosphere, and Rivers of America is what makes Disney Disney.

I’ll enjoy the new Cars area when it opens in Frontierland. I’ll shop at the Cars gift shops. I’ll eat in the Cars restaurants. But I don’t know if my kids are going to have the life long attachment to theme parks, specifically Disney, that I got from my parents taking me to Walt Disney World and experiencing things like the Rivers of America that I couldn’t get anywhere else.

Before we head to our next section, let’s take a look at the riverboat that sits in the Rivers of America, the Liberty Belle.

There’s a lot of real “best kept secrets” at Disney, including certificates for piloting the Liberty Belle.

What will happen to this iconic Disney boat? We’re not exactly sure, but one member of DisTwitter had an interesting idea…

With Rivers of America going away, it doesn’t take the prediction ability of Nostradomus to realize there’s a good chance that Current Disney Management may consider the nearby Liberty Square area of Magic Kingdom may seem too “quaint” for audiences that want three minute thrill rides. No problem, we here at TPEI are masters at rebranding and have put our resident Gen Z’er on the case to solve Disney’s marketing strategy problem.

*Okay, So What About BEYOND BIG THUNDER?!!!

We have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that Disney said at D23 Expo that the area beyond Big Thunder Mountain will be home to an upcoming Villains Land! This is something that has been wanted by many Disney fans for years and years, and it looks like that dream is finally coming true. The bad news is there was zero actual discussion on what is coming to this new land outside of this piece of concept art.

Now, that concept art is AWESOME. You can see roller coaster track covered in thorns, a fire breathing Maleficent, a creepy village and more. However, longtime readers of this blog know that you can’t exactly take Disney concept art at face value as they intend it to be a “feeling” you are supposed to have in the land, and not the actual land itself. Hopefully we are just days or weeks away from the permits being filed and the internet sleuths will fill us in on what’s actually coming. No matter what, between this and the Dark Universe at Universal’s Epic Universe park, fans of the baddies are finally going to get some justice for the characters they enjoy.

TPEI Score: +2 As longtime theme park historian Jim Hill likes to say, “no good idea dies at Disney, it just gets repurposed into something else down the road.” We’ve heard Rumors and Innuendo about a villains land at a Disney park for as long as I can remember. To the point where, like Beastly Kingdom, I was convinced it would never happen. It looks like this IS going to happen though, and I for one am very excited to see what it could be.

*Our Long National Nightmare Is Over…

This is mind boggling when you see the stat, but the Magic Kingdom – THE MOST POPULAR THEME PARK IN THE ENTIRE WORLD FOR WHO KNOWS HOW MANY YEARS RUNNING – has gone without a nighttime parade for almost a decade. That’s right, the Main Street Electrical Parade turned off its last lightbulb in October, 2016.

However, one surprise announcement at D23 Expo was that a new nighttime parade will be coming to the Magic Kingdom! The new parade will be called Disney Starlight, and  will feature characters from Frozen, Pinocchio, Peter Pan, Encanto, and more.

TPEI Score: +4 As much as I love Universal parades, such as the one during Mardi Gras and the incredible Mega Movie Parade, no one tops Disney when it comes to parades when they bring their A-game. I would still be watching Main Street Electrical Parade if they were running it. Forget the amazing floats, the soundtrack to Festival of Fantasy is straight up E-Ticket! Here’s hoping Disney Starlight has the wow factor that Paint the Night brought to Disneyland.

*Monsters Inc Coaster Coming to DHS, Muppet Fans Nervous…

Speaking of no good idea ever dies at Disney, another long talked about rumor looks to be coming true with a Monsters Inc. door coaster coming to Disney Hollywood Studios. Even better, seems like we’re also getting a Monstropolis mini-land!

The euphoria of an area based around Monsters Inc. faded quick though, because Disney fandom realized pretty quickly  that there aren’t that many places in the park that Monstropolis can go…

Social media lit up with people talking about DHS losing the Muppets Courtyard, and let me tell you, they weren’t happy. However, the discussion also did bring with it a whole bunch of people explaining why they love the Muppets, and specifically MuppetVision 3D. Below is a tweet from writer/producer Bill Prady, a co-creator of The Big Bang Theory.

Some, like TPEI’s Digital Maestro Scott Walker, shared what they thought would be some easy rethemes for the area…

During the extreme panic over losing the Muppets Courtyard, something incredible happened that turned the story on its head. A tweet was posted out of nowhere from someone who works at Disney…

We’ve removed his name because after the tweets above were made, he went VIRAL. This person works in the buildings on the other side of DHS, in the Animation Courtyard closer to Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster, and many took this information as confirmation that the Muppets were safe and Monstropolis would be going over there.

TPEI Score: It’s a wash. Like Cars, I personally love, Love, LOVE Monsters Inc. and can’t wait for Monstropolis to become a reality in DHS. Would be a huge plus if it took over several wastes of space in DHS, including the completely unneeded Star Wars: Launch Bay. However, losing the Muppets would be a huge negative, as they are a true national treasure.

*Another Long National Nightmare Over In The Same Month?!!!

The surprises kept coming at D23 Expo when it was said that Smugglers Run in Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge  would be getting an update that would include the popular characters The Mandalorian and Grogu. This will finally put an end to the absolutely RIDICULOUS timeline in Galaxy’s Edge that is centered around the latest trilogy of movies. Avengers Campus in DCA shows that regular people don’t want the theme parks to be slaves to some sort of contrived continuity, they want the characters they like seeing on TV and on the big screen.

TPEI Score: +2 Hey Disney, while you’re at it… bring over Darth Vader so that Galaxy’s Edge can have a proper villain and also bring back the Jedi Training School and Hyperspace Hoopla you cowards!!

*We All Saw This Coming, But Still…

After seemingly countless years of construction at EPCOT, CommuniCore Hall opened up earlier this year and wasn’t exactly the cherry on top of a sundae. More like a piece of asparagus on top of a sundae, and a rotten piece of asparagus at that.

After an okay looking media preview, when CommuniCore Hall opened its doors for us regular ham ‘n eggers, it was the most sterile and lifeless place in all of Walt Disney World, and that’s saying something because EPCOT also has the banal Creations gift shop.

“But, But But!!!!” came the cries of a group of Disney hardcore fans on social media, sounding like Linus describing the merits of the Great Pumpkin. “You don’t understand. CommuniCore Hall is a Flex Space. It’s only designed to be really utilized during festivals. You’ll see!”

TPEI Score: -20 This is embarrassing. Said it before and I’ll say it again, if it truly is a “flex space” then why can’t we FLEX IT INTO SOMETHING GOOD?!! Universal opens multiple Tribute Stores each year, every single one of them with more thought and care put into them than CommuniCore Hall and Creations gift shop combined, times 1000. This doesn’t even make sense, it’s such an easy fix. You can put those awesome EPCOT attraction prints up on the walls. Play background music from attractions like Horizons and the original Journey Into Imagination. Pull a page out of One Man’s Dream or Star Wars: Launch Bay and do tributes to EPCOT Center with models of old pavilions. Do something, anything!!!!

***QUICK HITS***

*Donald Duck on Hot Ones

Have to say, this one I did not see coming. As part of Donald Duck’s “90th birthday” celebration, Donald was a guest on the popular show Hot Ones. If you’ve never seen the show, guests sit down for an interview and are asked questions about their career as they eat chicken wings covered in hot sauce. With each question, the hot sauce gets hotter. It becomes a battle of wills to see who can finish, especially without the need of water or milk to cool down. If you’ve never seen an episode, I would highly recommend watching the interview with CONAN O’BRIEN or the one with PAUL RUDD to give you an idea of how good the show can be.

In a great touch, the hot sauces for the interview are all custom made ones that are themed to Disney villains. Like we all wouldn’t be buying these in a second if they sold them at the parks! Hey, maybe these can be the first items for sale in the new Villains Land…

Some might be thinking, why would a duck be eating chicken wings? Well, that’s already covered by Hot Ones as visiting vegetarians or vegans go with cauliflower wings in lieu of chicken. This is what Donald had.

Regular episodes of Hot Ones go about 30 minutes, but the one with Donald goes less than 10. This was a good idea because I don’t think the gag would have lasted if they went longer. It’s definitely fun for what it is though, and Donald’s reaction to the push back on his Hollywood Walk of Fame Star was actually great. Another question I didn’t expect? “Are you and Darkwing Duck related?”

Getting new hand drawn animation is the highlight for many of us Disney cartoon fans.

We even have a couple appearances by Mickey Mouse too.

This is one worth checking out, and if you like what you see definitely go back and watch the ones with Conan O’Brien and Paul Rudd.

*Chez Alcatraz Returns

After a lengthy refurbishment, the Chez Alcatraz bar at Universal Studios Florida is back open and now has a whole bunch of new references to the movie Jaws (one of my personal all time favorite films.) The reason it is called Chez Alcatraz is because the bar is located in the San Francisco area of USF and is named after the former prison. Back in the day, USF had Amity Island as an area of the park and it was located next to the San Francisco area. When Diagon Alley replaced Amity island, the famous Jaws shark photo op was brought over to the San Francisco area. Now the bar itself is themed more to Amity than it is to San Francisco.

It’s pretty much guaranteed that any time you see a bulletin board in the theme parks, its gonna be loaded with fun references.

I like that the posts of the bar are now covered in rope, another sly reference to the events in Jaws.

The menu at Chez Alcatraz is limited, and the cocktails are a mix of drinks named after Alcatraz/San Francisco and Jaws/Amity Island.

*Orlando Informer Meet Ups = E-Ticket

Way back in 2015, I went with some friends to a podcast meet up that was held in Diagon Alley. It was an after hours event in the park and the podcast had bought out the entire land. All the stores and attractions were open (with minimal crowds) and the Butterbeer was all-you-could-drink. It was one of the greatest nights of our entire lives, and as far as I’m concerned the best way you could possibly enjoy a night at Universal.

NAY NAY

Turns out, there’s an even better way: an Orlando Informer Meet Up. Whereas the event I went to bought out Diagon Alley, Orlando Informer buys out BOTH PARKS. Pretty much every single attraction is open and you have unlimited access to a smorgasbord of food and drinks.

Now, one of the things that has me grinding my gears was Universal getting rid of paper maps a while back and forcing guests to use their app. The official Universal app is great and blah blah blah but when my parents took me to the theme parks growing up one of my favorite souvenirs was the park maps. Not only did I obsessively look at them during my vacations, there were something I took back home and plotted my future trips with. They also allowed me a fun way to track changes at the parks over the years by comparing newer maps to older ones.

Why am I saying all this? Because the Orlando Informer Meet Ups HAVE THEIR OWN PAPER PARK MAPS!!!!

The maps include everything you need to know along with a look at all the stuff that is available to you in the parks.

Is there anything better than NO WAIT at your favorite attractions?

Actually there is something better, at least in my book…unlimited food and drinks!

All you care to eat CINNABON (there are tears of joy streaming down my face as I wrote that sentence.)

Everywhere you go are rides with low waits and tons of food. From Diagon Alley to Seuss Landing and everywhere in between.

Imagine what its like getting what is essentially a private show with Celestina Warbeck and the Banshees. Just incredible.

Fancy yourself a theme park photographer? An Orlando Informer Meet Up is your chance to get photos of areas in ideal conditions…

Orlando Informer Meet Ups take place several times per year, including upcoming ones in November (15th/16th and 22nd/23rd) and December (6th/7th and 13th/14th.) For more information: CLICK HERE. Trust me when I tell you this, if your budget can afford it, an OI Meet Up is the absolute best way to experience the Universal parks. That’s right it’s even better than taking a 2 Park VIP Tour (if I’m lyin’ I’m cryin’.)

*Gold Winning Olympians, They’re Just Like Us…

The 2024 Summer Olympics ended earlier in August, and one of the big winners was US gymnast Simon Biles. Here she is with her Olympic medals. What an amazing accomplishment.

Another amazing accomplishment? Accumulating Disney MagicBands.

Speaking of accumulating things from Disney, many of you reading this collect the Annual Passholder magnets. This month a new one came out featuring Timon and Pumbaa from The Lion King.

Universal has buttons for their AP holders, and this month’s pin is a doozy featuring the clocktower from Back to the Future!

*It’s August…and it’s a million degrees and humid af so you know what that means…

HALLOWEEN PARTIES!!!

As you read this, the theme parks on both coasts are in full Halloween mode and next month we’ll be covering it all in depth! Universal has it’s Best-In-The-World event with Halloween Horror Nights, along with a new HHN themed Tribute Store, a new Dead Coconut Club in CityWalk, and exclusive stuff at every single on-site resort.

Universal even gave us mash-ups of the Minions with Universal Classic Monsters!!!!!

Meanwhile, the Oogie Boogie Bash is taking place out at Disney California Adventure, and they have possibly the greatest scareactor in any park with Dr. Doofensmirtz!

Last month’s Theme Park Enjoyment Index: 90
This month’s net change: – 45
Current enjoyment level: 45

Writer Derek Burgan, when not cleaning Len Testa’s pool, can be found reading comic books, watching professional wrestling, organizing his various Tsum Tsums in alphabetical order, and taking his dog Bacini to Universal and Disney.. He will not, we repeat not, be found at a Disney Outlet Store. An official DisTwitter Influencer, you can interact with him @derekburgan

Digital Artist Scott Walker hails from Scotland and is the fifth most famous person from this country following Alexander Graham Bell, Ewan McGregor, Gerard Butler, and Groundskeeper Willie.