The Theme Park Enjoyment Index (TPEI) is a monthly look at the events that have made an impact, both positive and negative, in this wild world of theme parks we all love so much. Each TPEI comes out on the last Saturday every month, and we assign each piece of news a positive or negative number, tally it all up at the end and chart it. The range goes from 0-100 with 0 being Animal Kingdom Poop Snacks while a perfect score of 100 would be the snacks at Universal’s Epic Universe.

Remember, all links in TPEI open up in a new browser window. So feel free to check stuff out, we’ll be here when you get back! Each photo opens up to a larger version as well, and with that out of the way let’s look back at what happened during the past month, starting with…

*July 4th: A Salute to All Nations, But Mostly America

The 4th of July in Orlando is low key one of the more fun times to go to the parks, as you get to see some things that aren’t normally “on the menu” so to speak. This year that included a pretty spectacular nighttime show at Universal’s Epic Universe.

In fact, Epic Universe used its state of the art lighting package that is installed throughout Celestial Park to give some subtle “USA” vibes.

Over in EPCOT, one of my favorite annual traditions for July 4 is when the characters are out and about wearing their Spirit of ’76 outfits. This year’s groupings included Mickey, Goofy and Pluto along with Chip & Dale, but previous years have had Donald Duck, and Minnie in the mix as well.

Maybe the best overall addition to EPCOT over the last decade has been the incredible lighting package on Spaceship Earth, and it really pops when shining in a patriotic glow of red, white, and blue.

Over at the Magic Kingdom, the Liberty Belle Riverboat was adorned with some festive banners. Those would be replaced shortly thereafter with “For Sale” signs, but we’ll get to that later in this article.

For those who don’t know, Fort Wilderness is home to several annual golf cart parades, including one for July 4th. Check out this video below by Mousesteps and prepare yourself to be blown away by the creativity on display.

One thing that comes across in every single one of the golf cart “floats” is the passion by the people involved…even by the ones who are looking forward to a different holiday…

A whole host of new July 4th-themed treats hit the parks and resorts this year, and of course you’d find patriotic themed items at all the various bakeries across property.

One of the best social media accounts to follow for theme park fans is the one run by the Orlando International Airport, as they are often referencing Disney and Universal in their posts. This year they had a great tribute to Disney’s Carousel of Progress.

TPEI Score: +4 In previous years, I would argue July 4th was one of the worst times to come to Florida just because of the combination of the weather and extreme crowds. However, in recent years both Disney and Universal have been working to spread people out on the crowd calendar so that – with some exceptions – there are no “dead” times and there are “insanely busy” times. Instead, all year is now moderately busy. Thanks to several other contributing factors, this year’s Summer crowds were the lowest in a while and let guests really enjoy the festivities.

*Fantastic Four

The week of July 4th also brought with it some unique advertising for Disney’s Fantastic Four movie. Many longtime comic book readers, along with those who saw the previous Fantastic Four films in the early 2000s, know that a signature visual element of the FF is the character Johnny Storm creating the FF logo in the sky out of flames.

In an unannounced advertising campaign,  the FF logo was created in the skies above several major cities (including New York and Chicago) via sky writing by planes.

However, some attempts at creating the logo were more successful than others, and because no one knew about the advertising campaign, several online started to create their own conspiracy theories about what the clouds were (including “chemtrails”) and what the designs meant (including Q-Anon and satanic pentagrams.)

One of the lessons many of us are taught as kids is “there’s a reason pencils come with erasers.” Meaning that everyone makes mistakes and not to worry about it because you can just erase the problem and start over. However, while pencils may come with erasers, sky writing airplanes do not.

Instead of creating a viral moment with people across the country going on social media all excited about the Fantastic Four, we got a bunch of articles wondering what the heck is going on in the sky.

TPEI Score: – 1 As an artist who does a lot of work using Sharpies, I know the frustration of what its like not being able to nail a drawing down the way you wanted it to. I can’t even imagine the complexity involved when it comes to sky writing, and its a shame that this fun idea didn’t really take off like it could have because the execution just wasn’t there for the majority of it.

*Tom Sawyer Island Closes

Another month, another major loss at Walt Disney World. July brought us the closure of both Tom Sawyer Island and the Rivers of America at Disney’s Magic Kingdom.

Now I totally get it. It has been YEARS since I actually took the time to check out Tom Sawyer’s Island. However, I enjoyed the atmosphere that the island provided as I made my way around Frontierland. This was something you didn’t see at any other theme park or amusement park. It was uniquely Disney and a bit of the almost undefinable je ne sais quoi that separates them from everyone else. I love Universal Orlando as much as anyone, and they have great thrill rides that are similar to stuff like Big Thunder Mountain, they have great restaurants, and they have great shows, but they don’t have ANYTHING like this…

Tom Sawyer Island was a true “experience” in every sense of the word.

 

TPEI Score: – 30 I’m one of the people that puts Cars in my All Time Pixar Top 5 (along with Ratatouille, The Incredibles, Toy Story 2, and Finding Nemo.) Me and my family are going to love the new Cars themed Piston Peak area that is replacing Tom Sawyer Island. We’ll love the attractions, the restaurants, and the gift shops. However, the removal of Tom Sawyer Island is one less thing that makes Disney “special.” The specialness of things like that, EPCOT Center, and Animal Kingdom made me a life time Disney Parks fan. However, the kids in my family don’t have the type of bond with the parks that I have. I’ve tried my best and taken them as much as I can, but they see very little difference between going to Disney and going to places like Islands of Adventure or Epic Universe… and I can’t blame them.

*Liberty Belle’s Last Sailing

Another item on the WDW chopping block was the Liberty Square Riverboat that toured around the Rivers of America.

Not only did you get some really unique views of the park and Tom Sawyer Island while on the riverboat, there were also scenes on display that you could really only experience as you passed by on the Liberty Belle.

There are several surprises at WDW for Disney fans that many people don’t know about, and one of them was the opportunity to be a “Liberty Belle Pilot.”

For the very last sailing of the Liberty Belle, Disney handed out wristbands early in the day so that it wouldn’t be chaos later in the evening.

As you can see in the photo below, on the last day guests were “literally hanging from the rafters” as Gorilla Monsoon would say.

Disney may take forever when it comes to building stuff, but it doesn’t take long at all to remove things. One minute Tom Sawyer and the Liberty Belle were on the My Disney Experience app…

…and the next minute it was like they never existed.

Not long after, our blogger-in-the-sky was able to get pictures of the Liberty Belle as Disney prepared to bring the iconic riverboat to a farm upstate to live out its days.

A piece of Ye Olde Walt Disney World is now officially gone.

TPEI Score: – 13 Let’s hope that the Liberty Belle can be brought out to the Seven Seas lagoon and be used for photo-ops or private events (there’s your ROI, Disney) because it would be a real shame if this iconic piece of Walt Disney World history was gone forever.

*Muppet Courtyard Still Closed

TPEI Score: -4 This one’s gonna sting for a while.

*Disneyland Turns 70

Out in California, the park which started it all celebrated it’s 70th anniversary. Always great to see when Disney makes special guide maps for events like this.

I love park maps, and it really grinds my gears that Universal no longer makes them. What I wouldn’t do for an Epic Universe park map. Well, it’s nice to have this awesome Disneyland one at least.

Even better, Disney also put out a special map for DCA! Stuff like this is exactly why the Be Fair To Florida movement will always continue the good fight. WDW can do stuff like this pretty easily, they just choose not to.

The biggest element of the 70th anniversary was the introduction of the first ever Walt Disney audio-animatronic. This AA would be part of the new Walt Disney – A Magical Life show.

The entire building is filled with a metric ton of Disneyland history.

After a great video, guests are treated to a short presentation by Walt Disney himself.

The early reviews of this show drew a lot of criticism on how the Walt Disney AA looked. This was in part sparked by how many people “know” how Walt Disney looked because of the sheer volume of films we have seen on him over the years.

While I haven’t seen the show in person, I tend to find myself in the same camp as Tom Bricker (you can read his fully detailed review on Walt Disney – A Magical Life by CLICKING HERE.) This is a show that Disney needs. I wrote last month about my love and history with Jim Henson, making the argument that his legacy needs to be preserved and shared with a younger generation. That sentiment goes double for Walt Disney, who had an even bigger impact on the world at large.

You know how much I love to see theme park inspire artists, and we got to see some great pieces of Disneyland art this month in honor of the 70th celebration…

TPEI Score: +8 Everything that we enjoy about theme parks today started with Disneyland. Here’s to 70 more years.

*Our Long National Nightmare Is Over, WDW Once Again Has a Nighttime Parade

Its hard to believe that those of us in Florida have been without a nighttime parade since October 2016.

This was made doubly hard because it’s not like Disney just got rid of the parade. NAY NAY. They brought it over to The Favored Son, Disneyland, who already had another nighttime parade in the form of Paint The Night. Not content with just stabbing WDW fans in the heart, Disney twisted the knife by also releasing several E-Ticket Main Street Electrical Parade popcorn buckets!

Anyhoo, almost a decade later THE WORLD’S MOST POPULAR THEME PARK finally got a replacement for MSEP in the form of Disney Starlight.

Man, there is nothing like a good nighttime parade. These floats POP!

Many Disney properties have floats in Starlight, from the classics such as Peter Pan and Snow White/Cinderella to more modern movies like Frozen and Wish.

If there’s a negative to the parade, it’s that the parade units in support of the floats are in desperate need of more walk around characters. These are the people that really take parades to another level because they can have more interaction with the guests on the ground.

That said, it’s a minor complaint in the big scheme of things. A nighttime parade is back AND it features representation for films such as Encanto and Coco? You can’t ask for much more than that.

The final float is Whimsy the Train, and it is hauling some of our favorite classic characters.

The character of Whimsy was an immediate hit with guests, and even some of our favorite social media accounts…

In some great news, the music from “Disney Starlight: Dream the Night Away” was released on streaming platforms. The 19-minute album features 11 tracks, including music from the floats, the Starlight Anthem, and the closing song. You can listen by CLICKING HERE.

TPEI Score: +6 Why did this take so long?!! I’ve argued many times that parades are Win-Win for theme park guests, especially nighttime parades. Guests who enjoy them get an incredibly cool experience and guests that have no interest get to enjoy lower waits across the park because everyone else is watching the parade. Now we just need some cool souvenir popcorn buckets/sippers/light up toys (like small scale versions of the floats) and I’ll be a very happy guy.

*Here We Go Again!

Test Track 3.0 made its debut this month in a park that desperately needs as many rides as it can get.

Let’s start with the queue. Gone are the customization computers from Test Track 2.0 that had guests waste time by designing cars that seemed more in line with Mad Max: Fury Road or Hanna-Barbera’s Wacky Races than having anything to do with modern vehicles.

In its place are futuristic-looking ride vehicles from General Motors. And the cars look like they’re from the future, so that part of the new ride design works. It would be even better if each ride vehicle was accompanied by a sign or video explaining what the designers were going for with each specific prototype.

Seeing this car reminded me of something…

…the mini-boat docked outside The BOATHOUSE in Disney Springs!

Test Track’s updated ride vehicles really have a ‘new car smell’. How long that’ll last in the middle of a humid Florida summer is anyone’s guess. It’s a nice touch for now. Besides that and some new seatbelts, Test Track’s cars appear to be similar to the previous ride’s: two rows of seats, with three seats per row.

The actual attraction now takes you through several different sections, including a business district, a “garage of the future,” and an unfathomably strange forest. Two of these sections superbly tie in with the original theme of EPCOT involving new ideas and technology, along with their use in every day life. Then you drive through some trees for whatever reasons (maybe Imagineering used up all the crates for Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge.)

Now, one of my favorite things in any attraction are references to extinct attractions that have been replaced, and Test Track now has a fun model featuring the Sea Serpent from the World of Motion Pavilion from EPCOT Center.

The highlight of every single iteration of Test Track has been the final of the ride where you go outside and zoom around the track. Before you head to this loop you pass by a digital display that reminded me of the graphics you see in front of movies that try to encourage you to buy more popcorn and soda. It’s pretty neat.

Once outside though, the reason why everyone will always love Test Track takes place. Even though many guests were probably driving faster than this on the drive to EPCOT, this 65mph just hits different. It feels like you are going much faster and gives you that sense of exhilaration you normally only get on roller coasters like the VelociCoaster or Stardust Racers.

TPEI Score: +6 They say “third time’s a charm,” but I think I’d still rank the original Test Track the best of the bunch. However, this version is an improvement over the last one so at least things are looking up. Maybe we can get a much needed refresh of Journey to Imagination next.

Got to love that the opening of Test Track 3.0 did inspire our boy Sondy to put pen to paper for a Test Track 1.0 drawing.

***QUICK HITS***

*BREAKING NEWS: Disney is FINALLY Fair To Florida!!

The cute BDX droids that made their debut out in Disneyland a while back finally made their way over to Florida this month. This was the type of thing that was literally teased to debut with our version of Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge that opened BACK IN 2019.

These guys are absolutely awesome.

Like Universal’s Epic Universe, the droids had their first “Welcome to Florida” moment when rain started during an appearance. The droids were quickly wrapped up in plastic and brought backstage.

It did make me wonder if the droids were wrapped in the same plastic that Disney used as “Lightsaber carrying cases” back in 2022.

*New Pro Tip at Sanaa

We’ve done the Disney Food Hall of Shame, but one day we need to go the other way and look at our all time favorite dishes at Walt Disney World. One of my personal favorites is the Indian-style bread service at Sanaa in Disney Animal Kingdom Lodge – Kidani Village. For years I’ve always been under the impression you needed to order all the accompaniments with the bread service, even though I really enjoy four of options much more than the others.

According to a server in Sanaa. Ala carte bread service items are an option. Period.

Most servers choose not to proactively offer them because they’re hoping people will buy the whole thing (which currently costs $22 on the menu.) Our server offered the individual pieces option to small tables (the SAT SIX investigative reporter was dining by themselves) because they found that people are more likely to buy little bits than the whole thing if there’s just one or two of them. Or if they sensed hesitation about needing “all of that”.

Pieces of bread are $2.75 each (we got the garlic naan and original naan) and sauces range from $1.49 to $1.75. All dining discounts apply. The server doesn’t think Dining Plan can be used for individual components (that would be a terrible deal anyway, but we asked).

*Bioreconstruct’s 14 camera shoot Epic Universe’s Nighttime Show

This is unbelievable. Everyone reading this needs to check out YouTube video of the Epic Universe night show that used 14 synchronized cameras, and isavailable in 4K! Fun things to spot: • Stardust Racers • Astronomica lights • Chase lights at Hemisphere Stage• Burning Blade Tavern • A guest cartwheel(!!)

Is there anything Bio can’t do?!

Speaking of Bio, he also had boots on the ground covering all the important subjects. He’s been on top of the Hemisphere Dancer refurbishment story for the last few months, and of course he also drops in a piece of information I have never known about this plane that I’ve seen a million times in CityWalk.

 

Epic Universe has been continually adding things to the park since it’s grand opening earlier this year, and one cool thing that we got to see this month  is a sleeping dragon in Isle of Berk that ends up putting the fire into the forge. This is a moment straight from the How To Train Your Dragon movies and the effect is awesome (you can watch video of it by CLICKING HERE.)

No one puts more time and effort into properly framing a great photo than Bio. Sending thoughts, prayers, and pixie dust to all those reading this who just would have taken a vertical photo of the flaming arrow and missed the awesome “story” you can get with a landscape shot.

We got a GREAT photo of the Helios Grand at sunset…

…but also these tremendous wide shot as well.

Which wasn’t even my favorite wide shot he took this month!

How’s this for a detail you probably never noticed in Disney’s Magic Kingdom? Just WILD!

As we were finishing up this very article there was a very interesting development over at Epic Universe. The Permit Princess Alicia Stella noticed a fire developing around Epic Universe. Turns out, it was a pair of buses that caught on fire outside the park.

Of course Bio was quickly in the air to get us photos of the aftermath. As one does.

How the fires started was anyone’s guests, but the Digital Maestro Scott Walker has a person of interest…

Scott also created a logo for a possible retheme in Dark Universe…

Do any of you remember a taped show getting postponed on TV? Live events get cancelled all the time, but the documentary series on Epic Universe that was teased for Peacock at the end of July was pushed to “later this  year” for reasons unknown. I was looking forward to this one too because we get so few behind-the-scenes looks at Universal compared to the huge amount we have for Disney parks.

Artist Extraordinaire Henry Taylor spotted this ad for a Disney Solitaire game that features the character of Remy from Ratatouille looking like he not only took a couple shots of Ozempic but also may be taking some estrogen as well. HOW DID THIS GET APPROVED BY ANYONE?!!

*Theme Park at Sea?

Interesting thread by Adrian Hon this month covering the Disney Cruise Line.

 

Speaking of the Disney Cruise Line, I got trolled by Captain Cruiseline himself Scott Sanders (the main behind the world famous Disney Cruise Line Blog.)

Picture this. I’m in bed getting my regularly scheduled three hours of sleep after putting the finishing touches on another award winning blog post. Probably dreaming of my beloved Chargers finally winning the Super Bowl this season when all of a sudden I get a text alert. It’s Captain Cruiseline himself letting me know of a new flavor of Doritos he spotted. This is nothing new, as me and the Captain (along with our former snack buddy Ian Barritt, RIP) will immediately text each other when we see a new flavor of Doritos, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Oreos, or any one of the other major food staples.

I was excited to see this text and wondering which store I would need to scour to pick up a bag myself (Publix, Walmart, Target, etc) only to have him pull the rug out from under me.

LIKE I NEEDED THIS AT 5:30 IN THE MORNING?!!!

The Captain did redeem himself shortly after this heel turn by showing me a picture of one of my favorite things on Earth…embossed toilet paper.

Captain Cruiseline also created his own map of the “cruise to nowhere” with a small artistic flourish showing that this destination is the Disney product itself. I like it.

*Hey Kids, ART!

Let’s take a look at some of my favorite pieces of art from this past month but first let’s flashback to this amazing drawing by artist Brian Cooper that was for the 2020 Theme Park Turkey of the Year Awards that looked at all the crazy theme park stories from Disney and Universal. This was the drawing the introduced the characters of Derek and Bacini (Derek taking the selfie and Bacini pointing out the famous WDW signage saying do not stop to take photos.)

Derek and Bacini are my take on the classic Davey & Goliath claymation shorts that I grew up watching. The character of Derek was already part of the “David & Derek” series of articles, which was my take on another item from my youth, the Goofus & Gallant stories from Highlights magazine. Essentially the “Do’s and Don’t” of the theme park world with Derek always being the “don’t” guy. Bacini was introduced to be Derek’s moral compass (except when snacks are involved, then all bets are off.)

My all time favorite theme park souvenir is the exclusive comic book that Universal made for Halloween Horror Nights 32. For the event, Universal offered guests the opportunity to include a picture of themselves for a faux comic book cover that would be used inside the Haunted Comic Book Shop (that season’s Tribute Store theme.) I decided to go out of a limb and submit a drawing a Derek and Bacini for the cover. The only note I told artist Brian Cooper was “draw them like Shaggy and Scooby Doo being scared.” As always, Brian nailed the assignment.

ANYWAY, all of that is to lead up to this movie poster created by the Digital Maestro Scott Walker this month which featured Derek and Bacini in the roles of Superman and Krypto. What really separates Scott from the pack is he didn’t just expertly  combine Brian Cooper’s art with the movie poster, but he took the time to change the “DC Comics” logo into a TouringPlans TP one along with all the other pitch perfect changes. One of my favorite lines in any movie is from Armageddon when Bruce Willis says, “I’m on the best because I work with the best.” Both Brian Cooper and Scott Walker are THE BEST in my book.

To celebrate the debut of the Disney Starlight Parade, we got a series of two drawings featuring another one of Disney’s light based shows, the Electrical Water Pageant. What’s even more interesting is that both pieces were started by one artist and finished by another. Both are just fanastic.

Anyone who checked out our Artist Spotlight feature on Charlie MacWilliams knows how much he loves the Country Bears, and this month he delivered another amazing piece to celebrate the 1 year anniversary of the Country Bears Musical Jamboree.

A little while back we did an article looking at Artists Inspired by Epic Universe, and that inspiration continues with this jaw dropping Captain Cacao piece by Dave Simon.

Heard any good jokes lately?” – Pee Wee Herman, 1991 MTV Movie Awards

In case you’ve been living under a rock, one of the most viral moments in years happened earlier this month when the CEO of a company was a caught on a KissCam during a Coldplay concert romantically holding a woman who turned out not to be his wife (in fact, she happened to be an employee of the company.) The reason they were “caught” – so to speak – was because of how they reacted when they were on camera: he ducked out of screen and she turned around out of embarrassment.

What happened next showed us The Best, and The Worst, of what we are looking forward to in the coming years thanks to the rapid acceleration of technology combined with even faster loss of human decency and our collective privacy. These two adults were having an affair, which certainly isn’t great, but its also not a heinous crime. They were immediately doxxed and became laughing stocks across the country as they were mocked everywhere you looked, including on other JumboTrons across multiple sporting events and even references at Turtle Talk with Crush!

There is a saying that every day there is a “Featured Star” on social media and your one goal in life is to be sure that you do everything you possibly can to not be that person.

Putting aside that this could happen to any single one us, and the scary notion that actions you didn’t think twice about could be plastered across the entire globe in hours, it is one of those extremely rare times in this world when everyone comes together to have a laugh and some true creativity is born. Its fascinating when memes from pop culture make their way into the theme park world, and here are some of my favorites that show how this couple could have been exposed by cameras that everyone reading this article knows about…

*RIP Hulk Hogan

Longtime readers of this fine blog series know that my three main passions in life are theme parks, comic books, and professional wrestling. In fact, before I started writing about theme parks, I spent years covering pro wrestling for the Pro Wrestling Torch and Wrestling Observer/F4WOnline websites. The reason I originally became a wrestling fan was because of Hulk Hogan.

I was first introduced to Hulk Hogan while watching him as the character “Thunderlips” in one of my personal all-time greatest films, Rocky III. A short while after, Hulk Hogan showed up on WWF TV, which is pretty much all we got to see in New Hampshire at the time. The character of Hulk Hogan made an indelible mark on me as a young kid. Hulk’s motto of “say your prayers and eat your vitamins,” while sticking up for his friends and standing up to bullies of all sizes was something I could believe in. I’d stay up late just to watch Saturday Night’s Main Event when it was on instead of Saturday Night Live. I bought his action figures (which back then were so big and heavy they were more weapons than toys.) I went to all the matches in the area hoping Hulk would be on the card because I looked forward to Hulk Hogan appearances on wrestling shows in the same way that Taylor Swift fans look forward to her music drops.

Many years later, Hulk would leave the WWF and join it’s rival, WCW. Around this timeframe, he also started to appear in more movies and TV shows (almost all of which were awful, and trust me, I saw them all.) One of those shows was Thunder in Paradise, a Baywatch knock off which did a ton of filming using Walt Disney World locations!

I was a bit older by this point and could truly appreciate two of my favorite things in life coming together. This was my personal When Chocolate Met Peanut Butter Moment.

In early 2010, Hulk Hogan joined a wrestling promotion called Total Nonstop Action. Believe it or not, TNA Wrestling taped its shows in the soundstages of Universal Studios Florida. By this time, I was living in Florida myself and would be going to Universal much more often because later that year the Wizarding World of Harry Potter – Hogsmeade Village opened and changed the theme park landscape forever.

My life has seemed to be inextricably linked to Hulk Hogan from the moment I saw him in Rocky III. Over the years, I learned about the man Terry Bollea, who played Hulk Hogan. Like all of us, Terry was a flawed human being. The character of Hulk Hogan was tied closely to the Make-A-Wish program and bringing true joy to people who needed it the most, while Terry Bollea was at times a reprehensible human being whose selfish actions hurt the careers and lives of countless people. One of the hardest lessons in life for me to truly learn and understand was being able to separate the art from the artist. The Hulk Hogan in my heart is the one from the ’80s and ’90s who helped mold me into the person I am today. I can look back on him with fondness in the same way I can enjoy going to the Wizarding World despite Harry Potter author JK Rowling choosing to use her immense wealth and power to punch down on marginalized groups.

I know for a fact that Terry Bollea in the last few years of his life was involved with the church down here in Florida. Now, was this just another “gimmick” by a man who knows how to work an audience better than anyone, or was it an actual commitment to faith? We’ll probably never know the answer to that one, but I truly hope that he deeply regretted some of his words and actions over the years and was looking for absolution. We all sin. In fact that might be the one single trait every single one of us has in common. But there is always forgiveness for those who repent (John 3:16-18.)

Today I mourn Hulk Hogan.

Let’s close with TouringPlans own Len Testa and professional wrestler/toy magnate Matt Cardona recreating the famous Hulk Hogan/Sting staredown from Thunder in Paradise.

Last month’s Theme Park Enjoyment Index: 78
This month’s net change: – 22
Current enjoyment level: 56

Writer Derek Burgan, when not cleaning Len Testa’s pool, can be found reading comic books, watching professional wrestling, organizing his various Tsum Tsums in alphabetical order, and taking his dog Bacini to Universal and Disney.. He will not, we repeat not, be found at a Disney Outlet Store. An official DisTwitter Influencer, you can interact with him @derekburgan

Digital Artist Scott Walker hails from Scotland and is the fifth most famous person from this country following Alexander Graham Bell, Ewan McGregor, Gerard Butler, and Groundskeeper Willie.

WHAT IF… there were no coincidences?