SATURDAY SIX: Looking Back at the WORST Updates to Attractions

This week’s SATURDAY SIX is a follow-up to last week’s article looking back at The Best Updates To Our Favorite Attractions. However, if we learned anything from M. Night Shyamalan’s Unbreakable (2000) it’s this… if the theme park world gives us something great in attractions, it must logically give us the exact opposite as well, awful updates. Actually, I’m not sure if that’s 100% true, but we get the bad changes anyway, so today we’re gonna look at the worst ones in our book starting with…

# 6 – Minion Mayhem

Don’t get me wrong, the addition of Despicable Me: Minion Mayhem at Universal Studios Florida is  – in every single possible way – a huge improvement over all the predecessors who were in this part of the park before the Minions came to town (sorry Jimmy Neutron, but it’s true.) Better facade, better queue, better pre-shows, better ride, better gift shop, and it directly led to the entirety of Minion Land, one of the most kid friendly areas in a park that desperately needed things for the little ones.

The reason we are here is because Minion Mayhem made its debut in 2012 as a 3-D screen based attraction. In most parts of my life, seeing the words “3-D” is a natural deterrent. A true NAY NAY if there ever was one. Here’s the thing though, Minion Mayhem was GREAT in 3-D! Seriously, it made a super fun attraction even better. When attractions like Minion Mayhem are designed with 3-D in mind, and done by people who know how to work with the animation, 3-D greatly adds to the overall experience.

In 2019, Minion Mayhem got rid of the 3-D part of the attraction. The ride experience itself – despite being in 2D – is good, but no longer is it great. The good news for theme park fans is that Minion Mayhem still has a ton of great things, including what is quite possibly my favorite prop in any theme park queue: this mounted Lion’s head that has a dog in the lion’s mouth, a cat in the dog’s mouth, and a mouse in the cat’s mouth! Just incredible.

A closer look reveals that the mouse also has a piece of cheese in its mouth. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!!

Also a huge fan of many Minion-themed propaganda posters all over the large building.

# 5 – Skull Island: Reign of Kong

In February 2024, Skull Island: Reign of Kong also had its 3-D removed from the attraction, and it immediately became a much worse experience afterwards. The reason Skull Island makes this list is because of a change it made years earlier.

When it was announced in 2016 that Universal was hiring scare actors for the Skull Island queue, many of us couldn’t believe the news. It had been many years since the last time scare actors were used in the queue for any attraction (previously it was done for Revenge of the Mummy.) In an era in which theme parks in general seemed to be doing as much as possible to get rid of the human element in attractions, it seemed too incredible to believe that Disney or Universal would go through the added expense of putting walk around characters into a ride’s queue.

But Universal did it.

And it was AWESOME.

Not only were the characters in elaborate make-up and costume – just like their Halloween Horror Nights counterparts – they had the opportunity to give jump scares to guests already freaked out by the ominous queue. This scare was set up earlier in the queue when guests got a look at one of the “natives” on Skull Island, using the same musion (3D holographic projection technology) technique we’ve seen before in the major Potter rides. From a distance, most guests will wonder whether or not they saw a real person or a screen, only for the actual scareactor to reveal themselves moments later.

The amount of scares I saw on unsuspecting people in line for the ride was incredible. The best were when younger kids just knew “everything was fake” and “that’s just a video” to then almost have their soul leave their body when the real life scare actor jumped out at them. Here’s a TikTok video showing an interaction. Part of me feels bad that these people might have legitimately lost years off their lifespan due to the sudden shock of fear, but another part of me thought, “this is one of the greatest things I have ever witnessed in a theme park.”

After the Universal Orlando Resort shut down for several months back in 2020, it reopened without the scare actors in Skull Island. To be fair, there is no way they would be in the attraction in this day and age even without COVID, at least not in this incarnation. At the very least, we can look back and see how Universal was starting to change the game when it came to live interactions inside the parks. Over the following years they have continued to add a whole bunch of streetmosphere to the parks, including a staggering amount of walk around characters at Epic Universe. The queue scare actors in Skull Island walked so that the violinist and the Invisible Man in Dark Universe could run.

For a FULL TOUR of what the Skull Island: Reign of Kong queue used to be like, showing all the nightmarish nooks and creepy crannies, check out this video below  by the King and Queen of theme park vlogging: Tim and Jenn Tracker.

# 4 – Pirates of the Caribbean

For our first two attractions on this list, things were taken away from the experience which lowered the overall enjoyment. Next up we are going to look at an addition which not only added nothing to the attraction, but in its own way took away from the overall story.

It all started back in 2006 when the character of Jack Sparrow was added to Pirates of the Caribbean, one of THE most iconic rides that Disney has ever created (and contains my personal all time favorite attraction scene – Dog with key.) This addition of a new audio-animatronic addition to the attraction went over relatively well, in large part because the character of Jack Sparrow was beloved thanks to the amazing performance by Johnny Depp in the shockingly good Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black (2003). Not long thereafter, two more Jack Sparrow AAs were added along with a Capt. Barbosa character. Again, these went over as well as they possibly could being added to a ride that was – at that point – in the Disney parks for almost 40 years.

However, Disney then decided to get “too cute by half” and started adding even more things to the attraction to support the Pirates of the Caribbean movie sequels, which progressively got more and more unwatchable over the following years. Along with the audio-animatronics, a water screen was installed that featured the character of Davy Jones, the villain in the upcoming Pirate’s sequel Dead Man’s Chest.

In 2011, as Disney prepared for the release (escape?) of the fourth Pirates film, On Stranger Tides, the character of Blackbeard entered into rotation with Davy Jones on the water screen.

I have seen every single Pirates of the Caribbean movie made to date, and for the life of me I couldn’t tell you a single thing about Blackbeard.

Also for On Stranger Tides Disney added two mermaid touches to the attraction. One was fantastic, and gave the feeling that your Pirates boat was in the water with mermaids swimming around you (this was achieved via projections onto the water combined with splashing effects.) The other addition? Well, Disney decided to put a mermaid skeleton on the beach.

That’s right, despite the overwhelming popularity of The Little Mermaid to Disney guests, the mermaids in On Stranger Tides were terrifying creatures underwater, complete with fangs and a thirst for blood. Sometimes you have to read the room, and no one wants to see mermaid skeletons in a theme park outside of Halloween Horror Nights.

# 3 – Soarin’

While Pirates of the Caribbean is a legendary attraction, if I had to pick my favorite experiences in all of Walt Disney World, the original Soarin’ at EPCOT would be included in my top 3. It was that good.

First we have a pre-show video that’s an all-timer.

Followed by a ride that truly made you feel like you were hang gliding across California.

The film, combined with the sensory additions (who can forget the legendary orange smell) and the Best In The World soundtrack made the original Soarin’ an experience so memorable that every ride ended in a round of spontaneous applause by the guests. Where else does that happen at Walt Disney World?! It was a shared experience of pure magic.

Then came Soarin’ Around the World in 2016.

Instead of “just” flying above California, Soarin’ now went to locations across the globe, all while delivering an experience that completely took you out of the moment and reminded you that you were on a theme park ride.

I’ve never been to France, but I’m relatively sure the Eiffel Tower doesn’t bend. However, that’s how many guests riding Around the World saw it.

The Soarin’ Distortion on Around the World was so bad that it was routinely mocked by guests.

Years later, in 2024, Disney finally addressed this ridiculousness by having the film look at least semi-normal to all the guests on the attraction. The goofy transition moments were still there, but at least buildings like the Taj Mahal weren’t bending like they were made out of Playdoh.

Very soon we will be getting another update to Soarin’ which hopefully brings it closer to what it once was, rather than what it came to be.

# 2 – Cat in the Hat

While it doesn’t get its full due, Seuss Landing at Islands of Adventure is one of the best areas for kids in ANY theme park.

The Caro-Seuss-El is filled with incredibly unique and whimsical animals for kids to ride on.

The High In The Sky Seuss Trolley Train Ride may be the most underrated attraction in Florida. It has two separate ride experiences (one of which travels through a restaurant) and contains some of the most breathtaking views of any ride at Universal.

One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish takes your standard spinner ride up a notch with the over-the-top Seuss characters along with a catchy music playing throughout.

There was even a time when the Cat in the Hat attraction was a Must Ride, because the ride vehicles would spin like almost no other ride you’ve ever been on. It was wild!

The spinning, combined with moving smoothly along track that constantly twists and turns made for one of the best kid-friendly dark rides ever made. Alas, over the years the “spinning” at Cat in the Hat has been toned down to the point where there’s essentially no difference between it and any other dark ride in town. It’s a shame too, because there was a time when Cat was special, but now it’s just there.

# 1 – Enchanted Tiki Room

So it turns out, adding Jack Sparrow into the Pirates of the Caribbean ride wasn’t the first time Disney tried to shoehorn characters from popular movies into iconic attractions. NAY NAY. The first attempt was done during the late ’90s, and it was applied to one of the signature Disney attractions, The Enchanted Tiki Room.

With the monstrous success of Aladdin (1992) and The Lion King (1994), two bird characters from those films (Iago and Zazu) gave the Tiki Room a makeover.

One of the more memorable additions to the attraction came while guests were in the queue outside waiting to get into the show. They got to see William and Morris, two toucan talent agents, interact with each other. These characters were voiced by Phil Hartman and Don Rickles.  These two made several inside jokes related to contracts that was filled with bird-puns. Did it have anything to do with the show you were about to watch? No, but any time you get Phil Hartman added to a theme park attraction it gets the OK in my book.

During the course of the actual show, Iago interrupts the experience and essentially explains that the Enchanted Tiki Room show that had become a beloved experience for guests since Day One at Disney’s Magic Kingdom in 1971, was – in fact – awful. This was done to make the attraction more “hip” to a younger and more jaded audience. That’s Rumors and Innuendo on my part, because the reality just may be that Disney Imagineering lost their minds.

In January of 2011, there was a small fire at the Enchanted Tiki Room. When the attraction reopened in October of that same year, the Under New Management theme was given the Bob Chapek treatment…taken to a nice quiet farm upstate and never seen again.

 

So there you have it: Looking Back at the WORST Updates to Attractions! See you next weekend for the latest installment of the SATURDAY SIX, where we’ll look at something fun from the world of Disney and Universal. If you enjoyed yourself, be sure to check out the THEME PARK ENJOYMENT INDEX, giving a monthly recap of all the theme park news you need to know (and a lot more you don’t need to know, but we’re gonna tell you anyway). You can also follow Your Humble Author on BlueSky (@derekburgan).

If you enjoyed this article, you will surely like the following: 

Theme Park Turkeys of the Year Archives

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TPEI Tribute to Bret Taggart (AKA @Schmoofy)

Special Thanks to The Elite Brandon Glover, Digital Maestro Scott Walker, the bio-est of all reconstructs @bioreconstruct, Captain Cruiseline Scott Sanders of the world famous Disney Cruise Line Blog, my personal protege Hunter “Elvey” Underwood, artist @SonderQuest, the mighty maven of merchandise Hedgehog’s Corner, the SAT SIX Fun Squad of Parkscope Joe and “the Dadalorian” Nick, hot shot Michael Carelli, charter member of the Universal Four @Nitro230, the permit princess Alicia Stella, master cartographer Tommy Hawkins, and Hermione Granger’s tutor Megan Thickey for their invaluable assistance with this article. Absolutely no help was added by SeaWorld Influencer @SuperWeenieHtJr. The SAT SIX is inspired each week by goofballs Aengus Mackenzie and LitemAndHide and you Potterheads will enjoy Meg’s other blog work over at the Central Florida Slug Club.